My eight and a half year old Golden Phoenix died yesterday.
I had to make the very difficult decision to put him to sleep. This is something that goes hand in hand when you decide on making a dog, cat (or any furry friend) part of the family. To be there in the end is part of the journey and is very telling on the relationship and bond with which you have with your furry friend. To be totally unselfish is the most difficult thing we do for them!
My house has always been a multiple dog household and you would think with all the experience it would be somewhat easier. No….never gets easier, in fact I think it becomes more difficult.
Sadly….this is not the first time I have had to make this very difficult decision. It is made with much thought and love…and hurt and pain. To say it was easy to let go and not try to fight….I know I did the right thing for him, but still I will carry with me the pain of loss and of course the pain of being the one to decide…all the while not wanting to let go….so not wanting to let go!
It could not have been any other way for when I saw his sonogram of his liver and abdomen,well I just have never seen so much cancer. All of his strange behavior made so much sense. Phoenix came to me as a puppy. His original people hired me for he was an out of control puppy.
That day 81/2 years ago I left this families home with a check in one hand and a puppy in the other.
As young pup he had so many behavioral issues. The interesting thing about Phoenix was his energy, that and he had an extremely high pain threshold and of course his intelligence….if very over stimulated he flet little to no pain at all. His resting heart rate…well his did not rest.
I write of his intelligence not because he was my dog….but because in all of the years that I have worked with animals….with all the animals I have handled…he was by far the most intelligent dog I have ever had the honor of knowing. I would show him something one time and he did it, and would repeat it with any distraction…and with such enthusiasm and eagerness. On the other hand, the fact that he would become so easily over stimulated…..well it was a balance we worked at for his entire life. Phoenix accompanied me to all of the Dog training Classes….he would be more then happy to demo agility and the most fun class was Photography classes. There are several students that can now take better action shots….not to mention what a wonderful portrait subject he made. He loved the camera….I loved to photograph him and paint him for his was a face that showed so much emotion….his eyes told his story…he expressed his love, his happiness…
To have his gaze rest upon mine….true happiness and love. Just how lucky was I!
Please know….the blog will continue soon. I need some time, some space.
God Speed my dear, sweet Phoenix.
